yggdra_sil | Entries tagged with uni

Today: second exam. I was incredibly unnervous. I wondered if that would prove a bad idea.
It didn't!! Heh!! I got an A!! *dances*

So awesome!

[i don't even dare say it... but if my grades are good enough I may get back all the fees!]

Yesterday I survived the first oral exam.
I was so incredibly nervous... and it wasn't really that bad. :) I'm exremely surprised how enjoyable it was. ;) I always thought the talk about a "conversation" during the exam was bull. But sometimes it really felt like a real discussion. Awesome.
Now let's hope the result is just as awesome.

The next one is on Thursday... little time, much to do... Argh!

So, yesterday was my written exam. The final exam. Four hours, starting at nine in the morning - which meant getting up unusually early and trying to find the right place.

The exam was pretty okay, though. I could answer every question, now we'll have to see if I answered them well. ;)
In the evening I had dinner with grandma (my parents weren't there) and went to bed at half past ten - and woke up at noon. :) Awesome.

Wow, now I have to manage all the other exams... and then I'll no longer be a student. That will feel pretty strange. :)

Yesterday evening I sent all nine theses. Before midnight.

Now? Let's hope he accepts them.

:)

Being lazy has definitely caught up with me.
Tomorrow I need to send my theses to my professor and right now I have... nothing. I need nine and have none.

But this time I'll finish before midnight. Promise (to myself).
I love studying. I will miss university terribly. But I want these F*ING exams to be over. I mean, I'm terribly lazy, but still - almost a year of preparation? That's waaaay too much.

Bleh

Well, I once again had/have a cold. Isn't that great? :) Two weeks now.

Wednesday I had to hand in my bibliography and theses, so the night I worked till 4.30 a.m. Which - of course - shot my day/night rhythm to hell. But I handed the stuff in only four hours late. Yay!
And slept almost the whole following day (Thursday). But I still am more tired than I should; but maybe that's the cold. Or whatever.

So. One down, one to go. At least today. :)

I had a meeting with my professor to talk about topics for the exams... and right now I'm so relieved and almost happy. (Taking into consideration that I expected to spend the whole day almost-crying that's quite something!)Yay!
First, he's pretty laid back about choosing topics and making a list of material. He's really quite nice (even during exams... although pretty thorough...).
And he told me that the part about language (woe is me, I'm hopeless!) is not being tested (in one of the chosen topics) in the foreign language but simply having to read and translate some text.
I'm so (yes, I said that already...) incredibly glad and grateful and relaxed and almost really happy.

Whew.

Now I just have to survive the job interview. Well, not really a job interwiev. It's for an internship - but still, it's for a year and sounds fun enough.
I just hope they pay okay. :S

I'm still alive. More or less.
I got rid of my thesis.

I'm still basically freaking out if it's better than a D (it simply HAS to!), but no one notices because I'm always so... calm and serene and can't admit to anyone how batshit insane I am. And every time I talk about it I play it down myself. So, no need to wonder why no one notices anything, right?

Apart from that? I have to prepare for the exams.

And I'm depressed.

A perfect combination.

You know what, world? FUCK you.

[And next week there's a job interview and I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up. Argh.]

Right now? Nothing's okay.

Well, once again me catches a cold. Whew! Once again me has a fever. Whewhew!!
Which means I'm now behind on my self-made schedule. And I still haven't told my professor what exactly I'm doing at the moment. And I don't really know what he's expecting. Well. So angst is lurking in the corners - and no, I'm not a teenager.
I don't know, I think I remember believing once that as a "grown up" I'd feel more confident about myself and my abilities... heh. Either I'm not a grown up (yes, somehow that sounds about right...) or what I believed was bull (yeah, that sounds about right, too). But still, people around me seem so capable and responsible and, well, grown up it makes me wonder.

Other than that, before i caught the cold the weather was amazing, when I had the cold not so much - that's at least something. :)

And S. called again; surprise, surprise, her tone hasn't changed much. But well, maybe I'm just easily annoyed.
I'm tired, I've got a headache (more like the Eternal One returned) and I'm grumpy. But it snowed today and when I went to the library the books I had ordered were still there and yesterday I wrote four pages. So I guess I souldn't complain that much. :)

Well, I guess writing has caught up with me. A couple of days ago I had a very nasty nightmare about my mother hating me and sending me away. Sheesh. I don't need Freud to interpret that one. ;)

I always wanted it cold... and now it is. :) Delightfully cold. Well, here we're better off, but still I enjoy the cold, clear air. And this afternoon everything was still white and glittery with frost. It was amazin. I love winter. :)

Ah, well. In other news, I'm still trying (and till now succeeding) in getting some writing done. I still haven't told my professor about my exact plans, but I hope he will accept it without too many additions.

E. called again. Obviosly she's willing to sacrifice some time for us. Well, I guess I'm being mean. But still. She annoys me.
S. too. But that's a little different, I guess.

Once again I completely got lost in busy life and forgot to keep notes. Well. Anyway.
Christmas is over, the new year almost there...
Christmas was better than expected. But maybe that's because expected almost the worst. No huge arguments or discussions, I didn't have to leave the room to hit somehting... pretty good, actually.
I mean, I still can't stand my aunt - but it was pretty okay this year.

Me, I'm tentatively optimistic about my thesis. Somehow it feels like I'll be able to write something. I just can hope it's good enough for my professors. Today and yesterday I was really doing something. ;) It's not always like that. Well, I guess it would be unnatural to change my ways of working on something just because it's important now. *snerk*

During the holidays I read a couple of books - it's been so long that I've read a real book. You know - not something about formalism or repetition or theory of whatever. Yeah.
A gave me a really cool present this year, I'm looking forward to it. :))

The next year makes me pretty nervous, though. *sigh*

Hm
Yes, I did go to my professors and told D that I wanted to kick one of the books out.
Before that I went to R and he told me about another one, one that fits much, much, much better - but very likely has not been translated yet. So D was not overly excited, but said if he had to he would accept it. Yay.

Other than that... I'm pretty lazy at the moment. I discovered OTR and spent more time with that than I should; I'm really not sure if it's a good idea to get started with OMR. But we'll see.

A.s life has been a little more... shall I say, exciting? Anyway, she had to make some tough decisions and I hope she's fine.

This is a very busy girl right now, man!
A (belatedly [is that a real word?]) celebrates her birthday these days, K is going to leave for half a year and wants me to beta her thesis (mostly because she was crazy enough to pick a crazy topic but also because I'm awesome *g*), which is being created WHILE I'm betaing it.
Which is less fun than it sounds.
But she's a sweetheart (even if she has only a vague idea how puncutation works) and it's interesting enough to make it worth the while.

And. Yes, the thesis. I'm a little surprised myself - I got some work done. Next week I'll talk to my professors and make sure they have a vague idea of what I'm doing at the moment; and then... no idea.

AND A and I have been on a absolutely awesome tour together. Yesterday. Brillaint. :)

And hell, yes, it was awesome. It was wonderful to be there once again - I love the language, we went to awesome places; it was really, really great.

So, I got a tan (yay!), went shopping, had fun, didn't spend more money than I had planned, and A liked her present. Sounds like good two weeks.

So, now I have to get started on all that thesis stuff. *sighs*
But knowing myself, reading and playing around will take a lot of time out of this. :)

So... ignoring my fever (which wasn't really a fever, but what else are you supposed to call it?) does the trick, I suppose.
I declare myself fit for going on a holiday. :)

My mood isn't the best, I must admit and I'm not sure I really, really WANT to go... but I guess it's good for me and we've been planning this forever and it probably will be wonderful.
So.
:)

Things to do:
give B the stuff so she can apply for me
plan what to pack
get addresses of the people I want to write to
make sure Mom's got all the addresses of the places we'll be staying.

Well, yes! I'm still alive. Kind of. Somehow - I don't know how - I manage to finish my preparation for a presentation later every fucking time.
I had the hand outs finished and printed half an hour before the seminar started. Anyway, it was okay.

Before that, we had choir and choir and choir. ;) And while we're not really great, it could be worse.

A. and me are planning another holiday together - it has been sooo long - and we want to go to Spain. So great. :)

S. and me skipped a tournament (ha!).

And... G. fell down the stairs. Strangely enough, she didn't break a bone. Apart from a nasty shock and some scratches she was fine. Quite unbelievable. I, on the other hand felt sick for the rest of the evening and couldn't sleep till five in the morning. :|

But. I succeeded in making ice cream for my mother without sugar. Chocolate with 99% cocoa, egg, milk, cream and sweetener.
And heaven, was it good. ;) Not so sweet... wonderful. Ha.

Maybe I'm just too thin-skinned, but I'm really really REALLY hasta las narices. It pisses me off sooo much when people tell me that what I do is insignificant and useless and a waste of time. Well, no one put it like that, of course. But telling others (studying economy or engineering or computer science) how great it is that they're doing something USEful. Sensible.

It makes me wanna retch.

You know, being judged by intellectual illiterates. By small minded, blinkered expert idiots who think they're clever just because they are able to write their own name correctly.
I mean, you don't have to be interested in what I like - just don't act like it's unimportant because of it. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to tell them what I think of them. Be really mean. Hurt them the way they hurt me. Sometimes I wish I could tell them that - intellectually - I can't respect them because of how narrow-minded they are. I mean, they hardly are able to talk about ANYTHING but their job. That's not dedicated, that's just plain dumb.

Fuckwits.

Usually, I'm a fairly nice and patient and accepting person. But sometimes it just is... too fucking much.

Fuckers.