yggdra_sil: (Default)
okay, forgetting my meds two days in a row is not ideal for my mental health. you actually do know this, miss. (sigh)

but. having your boss basically say: you can't be overworked and stressed, you're on coffee break all the time[not fucking true. obviously. lol] ... does not help either.

because saying shit like that is assholery. Especially considering we've been one person short in our team since January AND i was on sick leave for sudden hearing loss earlier this year. Which obviously had nothing to do with being overworked and stressed. of course.

bosses suck
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm so exhausted and seriously fed up. Work sucks right now, and it's not so much the work but the people. But it's mostly the people, I guess.

Lisa is on (very much deserved) vacation and that means right now we're not only half a person down but one and a half persons. And this week there's twice as much stuff to do and the bosses are collectively losing their shit about every. single. fucking. thing. And it's about bs.

and if it's not bs it's stuff you really should talk and think about and not run around like a headless chicken

honestly, it's like they're toddlers.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once in a while I want to organise stuff. And when that happens I want to do it properly. :)
A never ending story: my books. I tried Excel (with as much success as you'd expect) and cataloguing software. And I tried anobii.com - mostly because I liked the name. :)

And then I discovered booklikes.com. And now I'm a little in love! Much in love *hearts*
A combination of a blog and your shelves. And a timeline, too. And the team is awesome. Now I can Keep track of what I'm reading and post my Reviews where they belong. Sigh.

In October I read a little too much, it's like a hangover right now ... I needed to do something with my Hands, you know.
Knitting. Yay! :)


Taking care of G is draining for my Dad, she's vicious, that old bat. Argh.

Christmas is like tomorrow and I have no idea what to get. But - holidays in two weeks, I'm so excited! Two weeks of sun, reading, knitting and calm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once again life shows that the worst things can lead to something good.

Well, I'm not grateful they were incredible asshats and sacked me.
But now, those one and a half years are like a distant memory (and it was only January that I I worked there!). A distant and not entirely pleasant memory.
I liked having more responsibility - but I never felt accepted, at home there. And I don't think that's just my imagination.

So, now I'm back where I belong. In those ... ten weeks they let me go to two seminars to make sure I have all the imformation I need to do my job. My job is fun. I work with people I like. I work at a place where employees are treated with more respect than common.

I read a lot, I'm surrounded by great books. What's not to love? :)

Hrm.

Jan. 22nd, 2013 09:07 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, on November 7ht I got the "thank you (for your unpaid overtime and work-weekends [nah, I'm kidding!]), but we found someone better, kthxbai!" ... "But we're awesome so you have three months until we really kick you out! And, by the way, how about instructing the one we're replacing you with?"
"And hey, 'cause we're so awesome you'll even get yout Christmas bonus - just in case you thought you'd get it just because it's in your contract - haha, we actually don't have to give it to you. We just want to rub it in that we considered not paying it. Kiss our feet!"

On January 7th I (in a fit of unbelievable klutzyness) I ran into a door jamb an broke my pinky toe. Yay.

On January 8th my favourite colleague of all yelled at me, complaining I couldn't do my job right. In front of the whole department. And my boss.
After a whole lot of four hours of sleep I lost it and of-fucking-course started crying.
He was all "I'm just telling the truth, I have the right to do that. If she can't handle that and has to cry it's not my fault!" [By the way, I did my job. The problem was the homepage - his part of the job!]
Strange enough, The Boss never tried to stop him from insulting me - only when I started talking back, he gave his "I don't want thant kind of tone in my department yadda yadda"-speech.
Asshat. Major asshat.



I think I'll take the broken toe thing as a hint of fate ... not to rush into things this year else I'll get hurt. Ha! So I'll try and enjoy the breather I got. The last year? Was no fun work-wise. They sucked me dry, emotionally, as a person.
I need to find a better place to work. For me.


Sometimes I think I want to go back to university. Whatever.

Well ...

Nov. 26th, 2012 06:38 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Work pretty much sucks right now. My enthusiasm and motivation is nonexistant, D is as useless as expected and W is treating me like his personal assistant. "you can't just put people through!" What? Why?! Give people your own fucking number, I'm not here to "protect" you from unwanted calls! :( Pretentious asshole. I wouldn't be surprised if he had his hands in my layoff.
Too stupid for basic office work but full of himself. Full of hot air. Fucker.

But D is not much better. Interviewing my replacement before even laying me off?! Bloody fucking coward. He's gonna help me, yeah sure. Ha!

The first two weeks after were ... not okay but manageable. But now? It's getting hard to bear. Seeing them every day, it burns.
And I'm starting to get worried. About finding something new. About being able to pull myself together.
It's been a while that I felt really depressed and reluctant to get up and go to work - so congratulations, you managed it.

I'm disappointed. I feel betrayed. I'm angry. And despondent.
Ah, well.

This week

Oct. 25th, 2012 06:12 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
... was a good one.
The boss was traveling and the bossboss, too. That makes working so much more relaxed.
And I also cleaned (finally!!) my desk, which makes working a little surreal :) but very, very nice.
Not so nice - the intern's computer self destructed somehow. Finding stuff for her to do without needing a computer was a challenge today.

Reading manuscripts right now - and I'm so sorry to say this, but this one is fucking tedious. They expect quite a lot from it but honestly, it's so literary and desolate. Literature, you know?

The fair was great - I didn't really want to go this time, I was sure I had forgotten something incredibly important. But it was good this time. And boss worked as a buffer between bossboss and us. (I was so incredibly grateful! Bossboss is damn cold and distant with the "new ones". And sometimes downright nasty.)

whine!

Oct. 6th, 2012 03:03 pm
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Meh, dragging around a cold for three weeks now.
First I felt shitty without any other symptoms; which sucks, because people don't really believe you when you say you feel, well, shitty. But, I got an antibiotic (I'm still not sure it did anything but fuck with my intestines) and I was on sick leave for a week. I felt just as shitty for another week (and had funny spots, yay, allergic to the anticiotic!).
And now I have a mean cough, a runny nose, nasty sinuses. Now everybody believes that I'm sick :) And now I'm already feeling a lot better, actually (after more than two fucking shitty weeks). :)

And next week is book fair, I feel like I'm abandoning our new trainee before I could actually show her anything ... and all the time I'm wondering what I have forgotten, what can go wrong.
Because - I know my boss - he won't say a word about the stuff that worked. He'll focus on every detail that wasn't perfectly perfect. And it will be my fault (he's been telling me that everything is my responsibility (every mistake, that is. Should everyting go smoooothly, that will be thanks to him) for months now. Thanks.)

But. I'm still looking forward to it. It'll be crazy and insane and great. I hope.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Hm, the first test of my new cloth pads was mostly successful :)
Just in time I finished all the pads I needed and they worked!! And it did feel better than with the bought ones :)

The only things I bought for making them were the snap fasteners. The rest was fabric I already had, old shirts, an old towel and tablecloth, and one leg of an old pair of cord trousers.
They're colourful and comfy (old fabric rules!) and oh so pretty. Well, they're more they're-okay-but-I-loooove-them-because-I-made-them-all-by-myself, but they work!



This week work sucked. My computer was updated and that stupid fucker of IT-person made sure I couldn't use it for four days. It could have been done in two. Two and a half, tops.
Fucker.
But F. likes him (male bonding and all that bullshit).
In those four days? F. was working on driving me completely insane. Swearing, screaming, and talking all-the-fucking-time.
In September, there is a pretty big thing, and I needed hin to finish something this Monday. But he didn't, noooo. No need to, right. He did it Thursday. But of course, he knows everything better. He never DID this, but he's the expert.
He's so full of it, honestly.
It worries me, that U might fall for that (all that macho male bonding, again), I'm not nearly as good at making myself look good while fucking up.

Anyway, weekend. I'm so incredibly tired.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once again I'm completely sucked into the maelstrom that is fanfiction *sigh* ... *happy sigh* XD
My real motive for buying that Kindle was that I wanted to have a more comfortable way to read fanfic. And boy, does it work. :D
Getting all these fics into some sort of order works better than I ever expected ... and I find more and more delicious new (at least, new for me) fics. I really, really, really love Snarry. Very much. :D

Work life ... is okay. March and April are going to be hell, but at least it won't be all new this time. But still, I'm a little nervous.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
... somehow I almost completely forgot how much I like keeping a journal. And how much I enjoy the whole concept of journals and communities - neither Facebook nor Wordpress can compare. :)

I doubt I'll have much time to post as often as I did a couple of years back - but I want to read and post a little more :)
... I have the feeling I said the same thing not so long ago XD


I feel like I caught the second cold in three weeks and my stomach's acting up again. I just hope it won't last as long as the last time ... anyway. I'm still pretty much exhausted, I rarely get enough sleep. Eight hours are not nearly enough somehow :/
Private life is nonexistant at the moment. And when I have time for me, I want it for me, for me alone (I'm greedy like that). For months I haven't been dancing; I don't want to have to do the trip into town again, I don't want to have a schedule, I don't want to have to meet people. I have enough of that during the week. I like my work, but it's more than enough right now.
I'd like to quit dancing - it's lost its appeal, I want more time for myself, I feel a little too old for the group I'm in and too young for the others, and it's money I could easily spend somewhere else - but there's S. to consider. He's okay, but also a little annoying. Still, I dread this conversation. A little.

Tired, headache ... off to bed (sooner or later)

>:(

Nov. 23rd, 2011 08:42 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Dear colleagues,

I am grateful for any help and advice you can give me (naturally, I'm a little more grateful, ha!, am ridiculously happy when you tell me what I do okay or even well)

But, dear colleagues, it SUCKS BIG TIME to be compared to my fucking perfect-with-a-bow-and-a-cherry-on-top-(with sprinkles) predecessor.

She may be a model of perfect perfection in your eyes - but she's not here anymore. I'm here. And I'm doing my fucking best to be as perfectly perfect as possible (Remember? My first day here was not even three months ago.) Maybe she was flawless from the very first day - but I'm not. So, would you fucking stop comparing me to fucking Saint H.

GODDAMMIT!! I AM NOT "THE NEW H." - I AM MY VERY OWN PERSON!



It fucking hurts.

yawn

Nov. 2nd, 2011 06:33 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm pretty much exhausted.
Work is good, the book fair and everything else went pretty well. But still, it's a little overwhelming.
In the evening it's already dark when I get home - yes, now it's really winter - and I'm all the time.
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, I need more sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

;)

Meh -_-

Jul. 8th, 2011 05:33 pm
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My last day at work came and went pretty uneventful. Only four or so were there, the rest was working at home or whatever. Some didn't even know it was my last day, even. At least I think so. All in all a little disappointing, the other departments were completely different. D:

I didn't get the job, S. did. I don't really mind her getting it - I'd just have liked to get it myself :/
Those *sshats let us wait for two months and wouldn't give us an appointment. Pretty mean. More or like the same day L. told us there'd be a vacancy in Foreign Rights. They need someone by August. I applied. Still no answer. Idiots.

Last week I had an appointment. Nice. Good editing house, small, interesting job, lots of responsibility. Sounds pretty good, I hope they trust me with this :)

Next week I have another appointment - the job doesn't sound as interesting, but not too bad. Long way to work, but okay.

I HATE this situation, by the way :S

Hm

Jun. 7th, 2011 02:13 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I’d like to write more often. I mean, it’s not like there’s much happening in my life, but reading old entries makes me wish I’d write more regularly – to keep track, remember all those unimportant yet lovely (or not) events.

Anyway, in the last week of April I handed in my application for the job. Here. In this house. It’s a job I love to have. A perfect mix of old and new – new colleagues, a completely new department and yet the same employer, the same work ethics collegiality, appreciation and the same wonderful books all around me. The only problem: I can hardly claim to be experienced. And there are 250 others who’d like the job just as much as I do.
At the moment there are quite a lot jobs offered around here, which is fortunate – and not. Because I still hope for this one, and so I don’t want to apply for any other job. I don’t want to jinx it, somehow.

So right now I’m more or less in between everything. I don’t want anything to change, I don’t want to wait anymore, I want them to answer and I don’t.
yggdra_sil: (Default)

The book fair was awesome, as always. But now I’m off to bed J

Summer?

Aug. 11th, 2010 07:28 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, parents are away on holiday, it's August - and summer has left :( Definitely not nice.
I just hope our holiday will be nice. :)

Only two more days of work. S. isn't there this week and J. returned from holiday. I always thought I liked S better, but obviously I was wrong. These past weeks she really got on my nerves. Strange. BUt maybe that's just the Getting-to-know-phase. It's difficult to work with different people every few weeks. It's interesting and challenging - but also difficult.
New rules, new priorities... new everything.

Well.

Nicey!

May. 2nd, 2010 10:36 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Friday was so wonderful. M and I went to the May Fair together. Lovely old things, strange stuff and yummy food. I bought three of those cookie-thingies: a frog, a dragon and a teddy bear. Hee. Afterwards we sat down on the riverbank, tried to skip stones and relaxed. And then we went for a really nice, quite long walk along the river.

A very nice and pleasant afternoon.

Other than that I'm getting ready for departure at the moment. I got my tickets, now I need a reservation and have to send in the confirmation and the info.
It's a little unreal. At the one hand I'm excited. On the other I don't really want to leave.
Well, we'll see. :)
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once again a lovely weekend... after dancing I went to see M, we watched some films, went out for dinner (Russian, yum!), watched another film... and had, in short, a great time :)
Oh, well...

Work's okay. Not the most thrilling stuff you can imagine, but it's nice to see how things work... it's not as creative as the other departments - but there are some interesting things to do. And it's not like I neet adventures all the time.
I've got used to answering the phone and rude people don't make me feel stupid anymore. I surprise myself :)

Oh, well. Time passes way too quickly.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Hmm. Yesterday was a very, very nice day. You could even say it was awesome. :)
In the afternoon we had our appointmend with one of the bosses. I was a little nervous (for obvious reasons) but he was pretty nice and it was really interesting.

After that I went to F's, M. and C. were already there (and I almost, almost got lost on the way). So we talked, had some wine and when M., C. and I left I was a little tipsy. Aaaand late for the event of the evening. A reading. Luckily, A. wasn't angry (or at least didn't show it) and we got our tickets just in time.
M. and A. seemed to get along nicely.

The reading was fun and afterwards there was a book signing. I even met Mrs. J. who asked me to get her book signed (today she gave me a cute gingerbread Santa Claus for it!).
It was a lovelylovely evening. :)

The new colleagues seem to be nice enough. We'll see.

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