yggdra_sil: (Default)

Did the absolite minimun of adulting this weekend, i.e. grocery shopping and scaring the kitties with the vacuum cleaner. I mean, work during the week is enough adultiness, bleh. Work is annoying and sucks.

Monty has discovered his taste for paper, this week he ate my parents' statements of account, tried to eat my salary statement (and other important stuff that was in the envelope), and chewed on a paperback. I have no idea what he likes about paper so much, but it's still a little funny. That little shit has all of us wrapped around his little finger, I love that snuggle bug so much.

Friday afternoon someone from the shelter came for the second control visit; Minou turned tail and ran faster than you could say "CHEESE!". The lady only got one picture before Minou hid behind the curtain and hissed at us. Mascha just sat there and allowed us to pet her like the  queen she is :) The lady was so very happy to see Mascha comfortable and all purry (and round lol). And I was happy that she was happy :))

Yesterday when I was sitting on the sofa Mascha came to me for the first time, licked my fingers and then rammed her head against my hand to demand scritches :)
She's never done that before <3 <3 <3 

 

In our last appointment my therapist suggested trying to reduce my meds ... I told her I was willing to try, how I felt secure enough. L O L
Later I reallized  that the thought actually fucking scares me. Rationally I know no one wants to take my meds away over night. I know the idea is to take it slow - and that I can say that I want them back. But my monkey brain is bouncing around and scared, worried I'll lose the security I have now. Hm.
And I wonder if my "yes, let's  try this!" is just me being the obedient people-pleaser. I have to do some thinking, I guess.

yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm getting so many impulses and ideas from therapy that I feel a little overwhelmed. lol
but started to try some things out.

self observation: downloaded some apps to help with stopping during the day to analyze and name thoughts/feelings

meditation/self worth: got some audiobooks and apps with meditations/tips for mindfulness

dealing with emotions/anger: starting a diary, trying out some methods to calm me when i get frustrated and angry

It's still unorganized and I'm not sure if trying out more than one app at the same time is helpful or not, but whatever :)

Soo, right now I'm testing

Moodpath
Dailyo
Headspace
Moodspace
MyTherapy
Pacifica
Happify
yggdra_sil: (Default)
tbqh i was reluctant to try therapy. i was worried that talking about myself would endanger my "balance", my security. (and i'm pretty sure it's gonna be uncomfortable sometimes).

but on the other side it's kinda freeing and nice to see an outsider's perspective. and to hear that my family and childhood are pretty fucked up. even if there never was abuse or obvious reason for trauma.
she even complimented me on coming out of this more or less stable.

maybe thinking that i never had a reason to be depressed was ... wrong.

lol

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