Jan. 22nd, 2013 09:07 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, on November 7ht I got the "thank you (for your unpaid overtime and work-weekends [nah, I'm kidding!]), but we found someone better, kthxbai!" ... "But we're awesome so you have three months until we really kick you out! And, by the way, how about instructing the one we're replacing you with?"
"And hey, 'cause we're so awesome you'll even get yout Christmas bonus - just in case you thought you'd get it just because it's in your contract - haha, we actually don't have to give it to you. We just want to rub it in that we considered not paying it. Kiss our feet!"

On January 7th I (in a fit of unbelievable klutzyness) I ran into a door jamb an broke my pinky toe. Yay.

On January 8th my favourite colleague of all yelled at me, complaining I couldn't do my job right. In front of the whole department. And my boss.
After a whole lot of four hours of sleep I lost it and of-fucking-course started crying.
He was all "I'm just telling the truth, I have the right to do that. If she can't handle that and has to cry it's not my fault!" [By the way, I did my job. The problem was the homepage - his part of the job!]
Strange enough, The Boss never tried to stop him from insulting me - only when I started talking back, he gave his "I don't want thant kind of tone in my department yadda yadda"-speech.
Asshat. Major asshat.

I think I'll take the broken toe thing as a hint of fate ... not to rush into things this year else I'll get hurt. Ha! So I'll try and enjoy the breather I got. The last year? Was no fun work-wise. They sucked me dry, emotionally, as a person.
I need to find a better place to work. For me.

Sometimes I think I want to go back to university. Whatever.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
would you please just leave me alone. Just for a while? Pretty please.

I think it's quite enough now, thank you.

The FUCK?!

Well ...

Nov. 26th, 2012 06:38 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Work pretty much sucks right now. My enthusiasm and motivation is nonexistant, D is as useless as expected and W is treating me like his personal assistant. "you can't just put people through!" What? Why?! Give people your own fucking number, I'm not here to "protect" you from unwanted calls! :( Pretentious asshole. I wouldn't be surprised if he had his hands in my layoff.
Too stupid for basic office work but full of himself. Full of hot air. Fucker.

But D is not much better. Interviewing my replacement before even laying me off?! Bloody fucking coward. He's gonna help me, yeah sure. Ha!

The first two weeks after were ... not okay but manageable. But now? It's getting hard to bear. Seeing them every day, it burns.
And I'm starting to get worried. About finding something new. About being able to pull myself together.
It's been a while that I felt really depressed and reluctant to get up and go to work - so congratulations, you managed it.

I'm disappointed. I feel betrayed. I'm angry. And despondent.
Ah, well.

This week

Oct. 25th, 2012 06:12 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
... was a good one.
The boss was traveling and the bossboss, too. That makes working so much more relaxed.
And I also cleaned (finally!!) my desk, which makes working a little surreal :) but very, very nice.
Not so nice - the intern's computer self destructed somehow. Finding stuff for her to do without needing a computer was a challenge today.

Reading manuscripts right now - and I'm so sorry to say this, but this one is fucking tedious. They expect quite a lot from it but honestly, it's so literary and desolate. Literature, you know?

The fair was great - I didn't really want to go this time, I was sure I had forgotten something incredibly important. But it was good this time. And boss worked as a buffer between bossboss and us. (I was so incredibly grateful! Bossboss is damn cold and distant with the "new ones". And sometimes downright nasty.)
yggdra_sil: (Default)
... and doomed.

I know how my mind works, I do. So why did I think having a tiny peek into a new fandom would be safe? It's always the same!!
1. Ooooh, FanficWriterX writes in Fadom Y?
2. Slash?
3. Meh, like there's one single slashable character there ...
4. Well, I like their writing, so ...
5. ZOMG!!! MUST READ MORE! MORE!! MOREMOREMORE!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Criminal Minds. Spencer Reid.


I'm so doomed.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once again I'm completely sucked into the maelstrom that is fanfiction *sigh* ... *happy sigh* XD
My real motive for buying that Kindle was that I wanted to have a more comfortable way to read fanfic. And boy, does it work. :D
Getting all these fics into some sort of order works better than I ever expected ... and I find more and more delicious new (at least, new for me) fics. I really, really, really love Snarry. Very much. :D

Work life ... is okay. March and April are going to be hell, but at least it won't be all new this time. But still, I'm a little nervous.


Dec. 30th, 2011 12:10 am
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Sooo, another year almost over.
This week I was ... okay, am obscenely, stinking lazy. So everything went mostly according to my holiday plans. :) I didn't plan the flu - but it was a teeny one and at least that way I could stay away from family celebrations. All in all, it's been quite the perfect Christmas for me :D

I've been going through my collection of fanfic (I expected it to be bigger ...), and really, the idea of putting the author name in the file seemed to be a weird comcept to me back then. Instead of only sorting them by fandom, author name, and title - and being done in a few hours - now I first have to find the stories online and find out who wrote it. Honestly - forgetting the author, for fuck's sake. So far I found all of them, but ... argh.

Another argh, a BIG ONE is IJ. I really get the idea of making sure that users are active and all that shit. I guess they sent an email about my journals being kinda "inactive". BUT I STILL COULD SPIT FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, THOSE DAMN FUCKERS DELETED AND PURGED MY FUCKING JOURNAL!!! IT WAS MINE! MINE!! MINE!!!
Maybe there was a reason I didn't update them regularly?! God, I'm so glad I made one backup at Wordpress, even if I'm not spectacultarly fond of Wordpress's structure.
Do I have to go back to LJ now? I'm not really sure I want that. But IJ deleted my Journal, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!
yggdra_sil: (Default)
... somehow I almost completely forgot how much I like keeping a journal. And how much I enjoy the whole concept of journals and communities - neither Facebook nor Wordpress can compare. :)

I doubt I'll have much time to post as often as I did a couple of years back - but I want to read and post a little more :)
... I have the feeling I said the same thing not so long ago XD

I feel like I caught the second cold in three weeks and my stomach's acting up again. I just hope it won't last as long as the last time ... anyway. I'm still pretty much exhausted, I rarely get enough sleep. Eight hours are not nearly enough somehow :/
Private life is nonexistant at the moment. And when I have time for me, I want it for me, for me alone (I'm greedy like that). For months I haven't been dancing; I don't want to have to do the trip into town again, I don't want to have a schedule, I don't want to have to meet people. I have enough of that during the week. I like my work, but it's more than enough right now.
I'd like to quit dancing - it's lost its appeal, I want more time for myself, I feel a little too old for the group I'm in and too young for the others, and it's money I could easily spend somewhere else - but there's S. to consider. He's okay, but also a little annoying. Still, I dread this conversation. A little.

Tired, headache ... off to bed (sooner or later)


Nov. 2nd, 2011 06:33 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm pretty much exhausted.
Work is good, the book fair and everything else went pretty well. But still, it's a little overwhelming.
In the evening it's already dark when I get home - yes, now it's really winter - and I'm all the time.
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, I need more sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!


I did it

Jun. 13th, 2011 04:53 pm
yggdra_sil: (*snort*)
I did the unimaginable. I bought an e-reader. It's a pretty basic one, second hand and neither Kindle nor Apple (but Apple doesn't sell e-readers, do they?).
Anyway, I solemnly swear I'll only use it for: fanfiction, literature under public license, literature under public license in foreign languages (anything neither English nor popular is pretty expensive here. Or nearly impossible to find.)
I will NEVER EVER support piracy. And most likely I'll never buy an e-book. I love the real thing way too much for that.
So, that's off my chest :)

My dreams are pretty weird at the moment. This morning I was driving an office chair - no, speeding with an office chair. I don't know where nor why, but I was fast! :)
Last week or so I was a russian nobleman seducing my valet. My, those white silk stockings!! :D :D


Jun. 7th, 2011 02:13 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I’d like to write more often. I mean, it’s not like there’s much happening in my life, but reading old entries makes me wish I’d write more regularly – to keep track, remember all those unimportant yet lovely (or not) events.

Anyway, in the last week of April I handed in my application for the job. Here. In this house. It’s a job I love to have. A perfect mix of old and new – new colleagues, a completely new department and yet the same employer, the same work ethics collegiality, appreciation and the same wonderful books all around me. The only problem: I can hardly claim to be experienced. And there are 250 others who’d like the job just as much as I do.
At the moment there are quite a lot jobs offered around here, which is fortunate – and not. Because I still hope for this one, and so I don’t want to apply for any other job. I don’t want to jinx it, somehow.

So right now I’m more or less in between everything. I don’t want anything to change, I don’t want to wait anymore, I want them to answer and I don’t.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
(And I really wondered for a minute if the subject line was tautologic. Then I decided I didn't care)

Well, I'm at school right now. Colleagues are nice, and sharing room is not as horrible as expected (first discovery). Maybe having WIFI has some influence on that. And the fact that N. visits home almost every weekend...

School's pretty okay. In fact, lots of the subjects are almost fun. Especially accounting (second, and huge discovery).
Most of the profs are cool - except for one horribly fake woman. Always showing an exaggerated smile, treating us like kiddies - "well done! good!" - argh!
And. The worst kind of gruop work imaginable. 12 hours of this in the upcoming week. Ick.

But apart from that... not much to complain about.


May. 2nd, 2010 10:36 pm
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Friday was so wonderful. M and I went to the May Fair together. Lovely old things, strange stuff and yummy food. I bought three of those cookie-thingies: a frog, a dragon and a teddy bear. Hee. Afterwards we sat down on the riverbank, tried to skip stones and relaxed. And then we went for a really nice, quite long walk along the river.

A very nice and pleasant afternoon.

Other than that I'm getting ready for departure at the moment. I got my tickets, now I need a reservation and have to send in the confirmation and the info.
It's a little unreal. At the one hand I'm excited. On the other I don't really want to leave.
Well, we'll see. :)
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Whew, my life's quite busy at the moment. At least busier than it's been for a very long time. This weekend S, F, M and I went to see a comedy show and afterwards we watched two films at F's. The show was aweome. Great comedian and a great audience.
The film was not that great, but okay... and it was nice to spend some time with the others, too.

M stayed at F's, too. I guess it was because F had to leave early and F didn't want me to be uncomfortable...
The weather was brilliant - I spent quite some time lying in the grass dozing - I tried to read, but it was much nicer just to lie there and enjoy the sun :)
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Once again a lovely weekend... after dancing I went to see M, we watched some films, went out for dinner (Russian, yum!), watched another film... and had, in short, a great time :)
Oh, well...

Work's okay. Not the most thrilling stuff you can imagine, but it's nice to see how things work... it's not as creative as the other departments - but there are some interesting things to do. And it's not like I neet adventures all the time.
I've got used to answering the phone and rude people don't make me feel stupid anymore. I surprise myself :)

Oh, well. Time passes way too quickly.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Espedially if it means having the same nightmare-ish kind of dream for two nights in a row. I woke up feeling pretty down and not wanting to go to sleep again. Which is unusual for me, considering it's Saturday.
Anyway, I prefer not rememebering my dreams. I always feel less rested after nights of more vivid dreams, no matter how nice they may have been.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, now I'm no longer a student. I really, really feels strange. Well, technically I still am - till October or so... but that doesn't really count.
I loved university, studying and all that. And now it' over, just like that. Not that I'm not glad all those f*ing exams are over and done with. Hell, that I am. In the end I was just sick and tired of all that stuff.

Well, a new part, I guess.

Friday was a small celebration at the institute, Monday we got our diplomas. And my parents weren't there. Which sucked a lot. I mean, yes, work. BUT. That was MY day, in a way. And they dind't even consider closing the office for a couple of hours.
The ceremony was nice and I enjoyed it - but still, I felt more than a little depressed being there on my own. While almost every one else had their whole family there. Well, it sucked.

But on the other hand, being no longer a student has its advantages. :) Since finishing school these past weeks have been the first real holidays (without any kind of bad conscience). And I spent it (mostly) in the garden, reading, sleeping and just recovering.
And now I'm looking forward to a job with real free time afterwards! Heh.
I'll start on the 3rd and I'm a little nervous. They seemed all very nice, but you never know.
But still, I'm so thrilled! :))
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Today: second exam. I was incredibly unnervous. I wondered if that would prove a bad idea.
It didn't!! Heh!! I got an A!! *dances*

So awesome!

[i don't even dare say it... but if my grades are good enough I may get back all the fees!]
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Yesterday I survived the first oral exam.
I was so incredibly nervous... and it wasn't really that bad. :) I'm exremely surprised how enjoyable it was. ;) I always thought the talk about a "conversation" during the exam was bull. But sometimes it really felt like a real discussion. Awesome.
Now let's hope the result is just as awesome.

The next one is on Thursday... little time, much to do... Argh!
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, yesterday was my written exam. The final exam. Four hours, starting at nine in the morning - which meant getting up unusually early and trying to find the right place.

The exam was pretty okay, though. I could answer every question, now we'll have to see if I answered them well. ;)
In the evening I had dinner with grandma (my parents weren't there) and went to bed at half past ten - and woke up at noon. :) Awesome.

Wow, now I have to manage all the other exams... and then I'll no longer be a student. That will feel pretty strange. :)

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