yggdra_sil: (Default)
Sooo, unfortunately no Shanti for me :(
They said he bonds too much with his human to be alone during the day, and another cat wouldn't help that much.

But! Yesterday my Mom and I went to the shelter we got Monty from. Just to see if they had a pair of kitties for me. And they do have two pairs of kitties who would be okay being indoor cats. A brother and sister they just got from a hoarder household (they found them after four days hiding uner a bed, the poor babies); and two cats, a little older, who need to be indoor cats because they're both FIV positive.

The first two are still confused and shy. One of the other two is snuggly but shy, the other a little more standoffish. But I seriously consider taking the older ladies home with me

<3
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Aaah, I did it, I sent a mail to the shelter! I told them that I'm an untrained human and that Shanti would be alone when I'm at work. And now I'M WAITING.

hnnnnnnng
yggdra_sil: (Default)
so, a local shelter put a really cute adoptable kitty in the newspaper; the kitty is three-legged and because of that it's hard to find a new home for him. And my gut says go get the kitty!!

but my brain says you're not home for most of the day, you need to get two kitties. And there are various adorable kitty pairs up for adoption.

and my mean doubt-brain says maybe you'd be an awful kitty-mom, you never had a kitty, kitty-sitting does not count. and what if the responsibility is too much and you'll get overwhelmed and the kitties will be sad.

and not i'm sad and insecure and still want a kitty :(
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody today and I really really liked it. I have actually no idea how true to the facts it was but Rami Malek was awesome.

And that short scene after Freddis's diagnosis really gutted me. That young guy sitting there, visibly sick and all alone just like so many like him ... fuck
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So, this evening there were already two trick or treaters, that's twice as many as last year. Success

:D
yggdra_sil: (Default)
today was nice and a little sleepy.

Now I'll have pizza and watch a true crime show

#spoilingmyself
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm getting so many impulses and ideas from therapy that I feel a little overwhelmed. lol
but started to try some things out.

self observation: downloaded some apps to help with stopping during the day to analyze and name thoughts/feelings

meditation/self worth: got some audiobooks and apps with meditations/tips for mindfulness

dealing with emotions/anger: starting a diary, trying out some methods to calm me when i get frustrated and angry

It's still unorganized and I'm not sure if trying out more than one app at the same time is helpful or not, but whatever :)

Soo, right now I'm testing

Moodpath
Dailyo
Headspace
Moodspace
MyTherapy
Pacifica
Happify
yggdra_sil: (Default)
The last two weeks at work were sucky, every time one of the team is not there it gets really hard to handle the workload. I hate it. meh.

I need to get used to writing stuff down again. For years I used to keep a diary and I will get back into the habit. It's just hard.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
So now there's "discourse" about AO3 needing donations? How hard is it to understand that hosting a huge archive costs money?

Honestly, AO3 is a gift and love it so much.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
self care is blocking a whole bunch of radfem swerf aphobes on tumblr <3
yggdra_sil: (Default)
This weekend started so nicely; Friday afternoon I went boudlering with a friend and it was awesome (if exhausting), in the evening I baked Brownies for a friend's birthday on Saturday.

At first I was (once again) reluctant to go at all; being around so many people I don't know didn't sound like much fun. But it was nice actually; she and her boyfriend are musical and there were some performances.
But then my slight headache turned into a migraine and I started to feel sick and I had to leave after only two hours :(
At least I was in bed early, that's something, I guess ...

My head still feels funny today, but that's always the case after migraine.

Bleh. Not how I wanted to spend my weekend.

More amusing: today we had to rub Monty's toes with coconut oil, because he still has itchy feet because of grass mites. And boy, does that dog love coconut oil, it's almost impossible to keep him from licking it off. So he gets to wear cute little baby socks. In red. It looks silly and adorable. :D
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm sad, my friend had to put her kitty to sleep because his brain tumor came back after a year. He was such a snuggly sweetheart, always lying on top of me in bed when I was kitty sitting. I'll miss him he was a good cat :(
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Zorba the Greek ... Am I the only person alive who was not aware that in this movie a woman is murdered because she rejects some fuckboy and he kills himself?

I was never much interested in that movie but a few days ago it was on TV and I thought why not? Now I know. Ugh. That was disgusting
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Modelled after Coyote's (osteophage) Blanket Boxes on other topics!

The theme for this box is, as it says on the tin, books.

> What's a blanket box?

A blanket box is a set of prompts to help you use to build your pillowfort! They all have a theme: in this case, that theme is books! The idea is that you start a post or multiple posts of your own, rather than reply to this one. You can find links to other blanket boxes here.

> The Rules

The first rule is that there are no rules.
Interpret or bend the prompts however you like. If something doesn't work for you, change it.
This blanket box can be answered in one post or in multiple posts, depending upon how you decide to answer the questions.
Optional: link or reblog this post so that more people can use this blanket box
Optional: tag your post or posts "reading blanket box" so that we can browse the tag and see each other's answers!

> The Blankets

A book you've read more than once
Akif Pirinçci: Felidae
I don't know how many times I've read this book. But finding out the author is an asshole kept me from reading it again for years :(

A book you couldn't finish (or finished despite hating)
Uh, I usually finish books, but I was really disappointed in The Child Thief by Brom.
Maybe I expected too much? I loved the premise so very much and ...
The writing is pretty okay, but there were may too many story lines (Avalon, Peter, the Captain, Ulfgar ...), and too many stayed unfinished. What was up with Ulfgar? And the Captian? There just was no real plot, somehow.
And man, the characters!I exprected a delightfully ambiguous or maybe evil Peter and got ... well, dunno.

A book you love despite significant flaws
Dan Simmons: The Abominable
I loved it, somehow even the seemingly neverending details and the glacial speed at which the story progresses. BUT. The denouement fucking sucks :(

A book you didn't love though it was objectively good
John Williams: Stoner
It's captivating and I LOVE the language. But the plot is so devastating and depressing (for me) ... I didn't finish it and won't reread

A book in a genre you don't normally read
Barry Hutchison: Invisible Fiends
Two genres I usually don't read: Horror and children's lit. Amazon tells me it's for 13-16 year olds, but seriously this is fucking creepy. I loved it but it was almost too scary for me >.<

A book from your childhood
Astrid Lindgren: Madita
I've read this so many times, I love Astrid Lindgren <3

A book that you have complicated feelings about
That'd be The Abominable again. I love it, but still ... the denouement (see above) :)

A quote from the last book you read
Right now I'm reading Wolfgang Behringer: Tambora und das Jahr ohne Sommer [Tambora and the year without summer] and the quote would be in German ... eh, anyway, here you go:
"Der Ausbruch des Tambora war der Beginn eines Experiments, an dem die ganze Menschheit unfreiwillig teilgenommen hat"
VERY rough translation: the eruption of Tambora was the beginning of an experiment in which all of humankind unwillingly took part

An author you'd like to meet
No, thank you. I'd rather not :)

A genre you'd like to get into but haven't
I think I've tried everything I'm interested in :)

A book you'd like to read
Too many to count, honestly. But one of them is Koushun Takami: Battle Royale

A book you want to recommend
Walter Moers: The City of Dreaming Books
One of my favorite books. It's so full of amazing ideas and cool characters. It's a book about loving books and will aways have a special place in my heart
yggdra_sil: (Default)
in other way more positive news Monty sneaked four kissies during snuggles this evening.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
I'm so exhausted and seriously fed up. Work sucks right now, and it's not so much the work but the people. But it's mostly the people, I guess.

Lisa is on (very much deserved) vacation and that means right now we're not only half a person down but one and a half persons. And this week there's twice as much stuff to do and the bosses are collectively losing their shit about every. single. fucking. thing. And it's about bs.

and if it's not bs it's stuff you really should talk and think about and not run around like a headless chicken

honestly, it's like they're toddlers.
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Okay, for someone who likes to sleep as much as I do, you'd think I'd be better at it.

Somehow I made my neck angry and now moving hurts. ouch
yggdra_sil: (Default)
Rules: Write your 10 favorite characters from 10 favorite fandoms and then....let anyone else who wants to do it since we don't have tagging system yet for what I know ^^U

The Lord of the Rings: Eowyn (I mean, I love Frodo, and Sam, and everyone else. But she's my girl)
Highlander: Methos
Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid
The Hobbit: Thorin
Star Trek TOS: Spock
Star Trek Voyager (that totally counts as different fandom!!): Kathryn Janeway
Numb3rs: Charlie Eppes
House, MD: Gregory House
NCIS: Abby Sciuto
Marvel: Tony Stark
yggdra_sil: (Default)
god i feel awfully whiny in a mom-i-don't-wanna-go-to-school-way (or, in my case, work). i want to stay at home and nap.

oh well. off to bed :/
yggdra_sil: (Default)
tbqh i was reluctant to try therapy. i was worried that talking about myself would endanger my "balance", my security. (and i'm pretty sure it's gonna be uncomfortable sometimes).

but on the other side it's kinda freeing and nice to see an outsider's perspective. and to hear that my family and childhood are pretty fucked up. even if there never was abuse or obvious reason for trauma.
she even complimented me on coming out of this more or less stable.

maybe thinking that i never had a reason to be depressed was ... wrong.

lol

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