A very unhealthy habit of mine...
Jul. 13th, 2008 04:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yggdra_sil... is to put new friends on a pedestal.
I only see what I like about them and thend to ignore the things I don't like. That's not really fair to them and not very good for me. Why? After not seeing them for a while I always wonder what made them sooo incredibly special for me.
The newest example? E. We went to school together, and for three years she was a really important person in my life, we spent lots of time together and I thought we had a lot of things in common.
Then we finished school, she went to Australia. When she returned she moved to another town (which really wasn't the problem. My best friend [one without pedestal] lives in another town, too, she even left the country for fifteen months) and somehow E. seemed to lose interest. Uni was important (well, that I can understand), she (very much to my surprise) went through a second puberty, falling in love with almost every guy she met, she had new friends. But I was studying, too, I met new people, too, and still I wanted to stay friends. It really annoyed me to be an on/off-friend. "Sorry, I'm busy, haven't got the time, have to meet others, have to study." but when she wanted to meet I had to be there at once. Fuck that, Lady.
So she webt abroad for about half a year, I received three e-mails consisting of three sentences each. Right.
Then she came back.
We met sometimes and sometimes her attitude irritated me.
And yesterday once again. "I went into a shoe shop and there were two girls talking about straps" Silence, everyone waiting for the punch line. Then K. asked "Yeah... so what?" and L. answered "straps are so unimportant! Couldn't they talk about something more relevant? Like... politics?" I asked "Why talk about politics in a shoe shop?" E: "Well, maybe they could have gone somewhere else!"
To summarise: If you want to buy shoes, go somewhere else and talk about politics. Otherwise you'll be considered vain and shallow and girly in the worst sense of the word.
Right.
I'm so sick of her elitism that is more act that anything. She's one of the most shallow and narrowminded persons I have ever known - and she's telling me that because we're living in a democracy no one should talk about straps.
I mean, I consider myself to be a feminist. Even if I wear my hair long, even if I like shoes and nice clothes, even if I wear a skirt or a dress sometimes and even if I like sewing. Fuck it. Not EVEN IF. Because! I'm so fucking sick of others telling me how I should behave as a woman. I look girly, I like pretty things and for fuck's sake, I'm not dumb because of that.
Really I find it frightening. For me, she turns more and more into one of the persons who make this world such a unaccepting and cold place.
And it makes me wonder... did I just ignore it before or did she change so much in the last few years.
She's sexist, lookist and elitist. Man, what a combination.
I only see what I like about them and thend to ignore the things I don't like. That's not really fair to them and not very good for me. Why? After not seeing them for a while I always wonder what made them sooo incredibly special for me.
The newest example? E. We went to school together, and for three years she was a really important person in my life, we spent lots of time together and I thought we had a lot of things in common.
Then we finished school, she went to Australia. When she returned she moved to another town (which really wasn't the problem. My best friend [one without pedestal] lives in another town, too, she even left the country for fifteen months) and somehow E. seemed to lose interest. Uni was important (well, that I can understand), she (very much to my surprise) went through a second puberty, falling in love with almost every guy she met, she had new friends. But I was studying, too, I met new people, too, and still I wanted to stay friends. It really annoyed me to be an on/off-friend. "Sorry, I'm busy, haven't got the time, have to meet others, have to study." but when she wanted to meet I had to be there at once. Fuck that, Lady.
So she webt abroad for about half a year, I received three e-mails consisting of three sentences each. Right.
Then she came back.
We met sometimes and sometimes her attitude irritated me.
And yesterday once again. "I went into a shoe shop and there were two girls talking about straps" Silence, everyone waiting for the punch line. Then K. asked "Yeah... so what?" and L. answered "straps are so unimportant! Couldn't they talk about something more relevant? Like... politics?" I asked "Why talk about politics in a shoe shop?" E: "Well, maybe they could have gone somewhere else!"
To summarise: If you want to buy shoes, go somewhere else and talk about politics. Otherwise you'll be considered vain and shallow and girly in the worst sense of the word.
Right.
I'm so sick of her elitism that is more act that anything. She's one of the most shallow and narrowminded persons I have ever known - and she's telling me that because we're living in a democracy no one should talk about straps.
I mean, I consider myself to be a feminist. Even if I wear my hair long, even if I like shoes and nice clothes, even if I wear a skirt or a dress sometimes and even if I like sewing. Fuck it. Not EVEN IF. Because! I'm so fucking sick of others telling me how I should behave as a woman. I look girly, I like pretty things and for fuck's sake, I'm not dumb because of that.
Really I find it frightening. For me, she turns more and more into one of the persons who make this world such a unaccepting and cold place.
And it makes me wonder... did I just ignore it before or did she change so much in the last few years.
She's sexist, lookist and elitist. Man, what a combination.
