(no subject)

Yesterday we went to visit my Grandma. It was an unplanned visit - Thursday early in the morning she fell out of bed (she's in a nursing home) and wasn't well afterward.

She's very confused, but maybe that's because of a concussion. Or maybe a small stroke ...

It was really ... touching and ... strange.
I mean, she recognised my mom and me; but basically all she said was "thank you" again and again. For visiting, for everything. How nice we are for visiting, how good. How bad she is for not being able to control her bladder. Wishing us all the best.

She's 97, for the last 20 years she's been expecting to die. But still, this felt so much like saying goodbye. We were never close, she was never really interested in me.
But she was so tiny and tired in her bed. And I felt like ... I don't know if there's a God, but if there is he'd better be kind to her.

2018 - A Review

1. What is your general feeling for 2019?

Leeriness. That fucker better be less stressful than 2018.

 

2. 2018 in one word?

Stressful. 

 

3. Did something for the first time time 2018?

Meditate. I tried it to work on my mental health

 

4. Did something again after a long time?

Knitting. And reading.

 

5. Something you regret not doing?

READING MORE

 

6. Word of the Year?

Mindfulness

 

7. Hospitalizations?

No

 

8. Food of the year?

Hard to say, I basically love everything you can eat lol
But I tried Mochi for the first time :)

 

9. Song of the year?

Bohemian Rhapsody

 

10. Book of the year?

Truman Capote: In Cold Blood

 

11. Movie of the year?

I loved Black Panther.

 

12. Insight of the year?

Needing help does not make you weak

 

13. Things I could have done without?

1. Acute hearing loss/tinnitus because of stress. It sucks
2. She's not a thing, but counts nonetheless: my boss

 

14. Best decisions of the year?

1. Making my parents get a doggo
2. Deciding to get myself kitties
3. Finally starting therapy